The statistics are staggering. According to the CDC, one half of all marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages fail and 73% of third marriages end before the parties are parted by death. In this groundbreaking and must-read book, Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Freedom, top divorce attorney Rebecca Zung, Esq. provides a comprehensive divorce roadmap, through daily readings, exercises and meditations, and offering tips and tools on how to navigate this challenging time. By addressing the day-to-day emotions, divorce law and financial ramifications, and the spiritual journey that anyone contemplating or experiencing divorce will face, Breaking Free, provides a simple, fresh and sometimes humorous approach to all of the issues and emotions readers will encounter.
Rebecca has organized the book into 45 chapters. That sounds a lot but the chapters are short and focused which makes the book very readable and easy to use. Each chapter also includes an exercise and a meditation/affirmation.
The first section is devoted to emotions, with each chapter tackling a different emotion like hurt, blame, resentment. It might be tempting to read the chapter for the emotions you’re feeling and skim or skip the others but Rebecca recommends reading them all through once and then starting again taking the time to do the exercises. I’m with Rebecca and here’s why.
Divorce has a way of stirring our emotions and unless you’re very tuned into your feelings some of these will be new and strange. That means you might not recognize them or even be able to put a label to them. I learned that through my interviews. I’d listen to someone telling me about the challenges in their divorce journey and afterwards, certain phrases would stay with me, sometimes for days. As I thought about the phrase, I’d uncover some issue that had been buried, unexplored. Without that nudging who knows when I would have confronted those emotions and issues.
The chapters on the legal process will give you an overview of what to expect and are worth reading before you meet with your attorney. They’ll help you become familiar with some of the legal language of divorce and that alone will save you some attorney expense.
The final section is about Spiritual Freedom and this focuses on taking care of yourself. Just because these come after the legal chapters, doesn’t mean you should wait until your legal process is complete before reading them. Even a smooth legal process is likely to take longer than a month or so and more importantly, taking care of yourself is a priority throughout the whole process of ending your marriage.
DECLARING YOUR INDEPENDENCE WITH DIGNITY
Using this Book to Make Your Divorce Your Opportunity to Create a New Beginning
Experiencing a divorce with dignity is one in which under even the most challenging of circumstances you feel empowered, whole and inspired to create new beginnings and new futures. This is the purpose of this book. It is meant to serve as your guide to give you the tools to allow you to be the cause of the events in your reality, rather than feeling that you are at the mercy of the effect of the events and people in your life. By reading this book and completing the exercises, you will experience divorce in an empowering context.
It probably comes as no surprise that life often takes twists and turns that we don t expect. Divorce is no exception for many of us. The statis- tics are staggering. While people often know that one-half of all mar- riages end in divorce, that is in fact the statistic for FIRST marriages. Indeed, the more one marries, the worse the chances are of success: 60 percent of second marriage fail and 73 percent of third marriages end long before the parties are parted by death. Of course, when you were standing before each other, and proclaiming your love for each other on your wedding day, you thought you would be the ones to beat the odds. Most of us dont take the plunge expecting to get back out of the pool.
Some have chosen to sit on the side of the pool completely. Rath- er than contribute to the divorce rate, many have just decided not to marry at all. The marriage rate is actually decreasing, and this is not just amongst younger people. Seniors are often opting to live together without the benefit of marriage now too.
What does divorce mean to people? Stigma. That you re unlovable. Trauma. That you re a failure.
Failure. Nobody wants to be a failure at anything. In fact, we spend the better part of our lives trying to look good, or maybe more importantly, trying to avoid looking bad. And being a failure definitely would be classified in that latter category. Success = good. Failure = bad. Isnt that what divorce usually means? Failure. Two people can live in a loveless horrible marriage for 50 years and never have once felt any connection or love but its a 50-year marriage! Wow! Now thats a success (so sayeth our society). That would not be a success for me and is it really a success for others?
Whats the real question to ask ourselves? Whos making this determination? Who decides what equates to success or failure ? In our society, it became the norm and everyone agreed that a long-term marriage (regardless of whether one person was completely repressed, one person was abusive, and/or other major issues existed) equals success, and that divorce means failure.
Is this way of thinking simply an agreement that was made by the collective that is perpetuated by the collective? What if divorce can mean something else?
For those who are deeply unhappy, living in a loveless marriage, an abusive marriage, a marriage that is not bringing you anything but head- ache and heartache maybe for you, divorce can actually mean some- thing positive. Divorce can mean an opportunity to free yourself physi- cally, and also free your mind and your spirit. An opportunity to begin painting the canvas of your life with the vibrancy and richness of color you never knew existed.
• Length: 214 Pages
Release Date: August 15, 2013
• ISBN/ASIN: 0989833607
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About the Author
Rebecca Zung, Esq. is the founding partner of the Law Office of Rebecca Zung-Clough, PLLC, a pre-eminent marital and family law firm in southwest Florida. She and her firm members are dedicated to representing high net worth clients in the area of marital and family law by providing creative solutions and strategies which allow her clients to refocus and rebuild their lives. She is a cum laude graduate of University of Miami School of Law. A former wealth strategist and stockbroker with Northern Trust and Morgan Stanley, Rebecca has held her Series 7 and 66 registered representative licenses, and well as the Life, Health and Variable Annuity Insurance Licenses. Because of her diverse backgrounds, she brings extraordinary insight into every facet of family law.
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